September is ending, and i should have awoken.

Back again after yet another 2 week break... its been madness for the past week or so... preparing for 2 presentations concurrently, as well as all the miscellaneous riff-raff thats been occurring. well, at least the presentations are over, and all i'm left with is tomorrow's physics mid-term.. ah... i smell freedom. heh. or maybe thats just the stale coffee someone left in the corner of the room.

as usual, spent the morning train ride to school thinking of 'exercise files' for platoon training in future... this morning's wonderful idea revolved around a deliberate attack followed by a hasty exploitation to totally destroy the escaping enemy forces which had been fixed in place by another platoon... wondering how best to put it together. been thinking about the need for a successful OC to amalgamate man and machine... wonder how i'll do this in future.

on a separate note, realized also that i am quite useless with regards to certain aspects of life. 'garang' in certain aspects, yet totally hopeless at certain 'finer' points. sigh. its weird when you see this person that you like, and yet not having the courage to do anything about it, you just say, 'well, we'll see how it goes'. the funny part is that while i can chat online via msn, when i do see the other person in person, its just totally different. its a little like what happened in the past....

not that the entire episode eats at me, just that its kinda, well, annoying at times. haha... i wish i could read minds. i mean, is that what really 'surrendering to God' - in this respect - is really about? or is the surrendering part pertaining to whatever outcome it might be?

on another issue, was rather perturbed by my own judgement during the nite bike... i allowed my group to cycle down kent ridge hill even though we were supposed to dismount and push - i had taken for granted that everyone would have been reasonably competent with their bikes and brakes. however, my heart skipped a beat when i saw one of the participants careening pass me, and fortunately, she was able to brake without incident. learnt an important leadership lesson/reminder that night - don't risk your followers unnecessarily. must carry this lesson all the way.

off for dinner now. perhaps will be back to vent more later.

the account (sleep) ain't balancing...

After a 2 week hiatus, i have returned. Presentation today was rather, erm, impromptu at best. Surprised that we pulled it off so well, considering how terrible we sounded during the rehearsals (a rarity for me, considering i almost NEVER rehearse presentations). Glad its over. The stupid thing forced me to stay awake after AHM yesterday, to finish it. I think it was more tiresome than the 21km... On a side note, need to train more for Standard Chartered... woefully inadequately prepared for it. Actually, not so much the running that i need to worry about, but rather, keeping myself injury free - i don't exactly have the best pair of ankles around, and having flat feet ISN'T a plus either. But what the heck, like Richard Branson says 'Screw it, just do it'. Very go-getter. Excellent philosophy. Think this sort of thinking might get me killed young... heh. Especially in a career with the army. Too 'garang'? i wonder. Heard that some of my guys commented i was 'too garang' as a PC. I always thought i was rather 'indifferent' in that i didn't think i did anything above and beyond what would have been expected of any other officer in a similar position out in the field. Strange.

Been posed a question of serving in a ministry in church... but i have no idea which one. wondering if its even in the church that i should be serving. will pray on this. maybe it might be ideal to apply the same thinking as above, and just do it. heh.

thoughts incoherent now. nitebike (fri), AHM(sun)+Svc+presentation+fullday(mon) = need for rest. currently in deficit. shall sign off. realise writing has become gibberish.heh.